This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Pamela Meyer, the CEO of Calibrate Inc. She trains organizations in fraud detection and insider threat mitigation and is the author of "Liespotting" and "How to Read the Room." Meyer is based in Washington, D.C. This story has been edited for length and clarity.
I spent the last 10 years training people in deception detection.
Reading the room is a foundational and overlooked skill. Greater awareness, attention, and observation can transform leadership, relationships, and influence — and it's entirely teachable.
Doctors are taught to observe before they actually diagnose. Spies are trained to go into the room and then walk out and tell you who wore red, who wore blue, who had COVID, and whose feet were pointing toward the exit.
We all miss those micro-signals because we're not trained to find them. But you can certainly be trained — and there are payoffs for doing so in the workplace. You waste less time, you gain trust faster, you get what you want more often, and you repair things before they break.
Here are four ways to better read the room:
Do your research
You should know something about the people in the room before you go...