A viral clip circulating social media right now arguably says more about American marriage than most think pieces will this year. In it is Taylor Swift, beaming, pointing to her wedding ring mouthing “that’s my husband” as she cheers for Travis Kelce during the Chiefs vs. Colts game.
The commentary poured in immediately. While some found the moment sweet and supportive, others called it “cringe,” “performative,” and “fake.” That split is a story worth talking about — because somewhere in the last 30 years, our culture trained women to believe that devotion and public admiration of a husband is naive. The smart move, the relatable move, is to joke about his incompetence and to position yourself as better than him.
This script shows up repeatedly in our everyday lives. Sit through the first PTA meeting of the school year and count how many introductions include some version of “I have four kids, including my husband.” From Al Bundy’s lazy, defeated persona in the ’90s to Phil Dunphy bumbling his way through “Modern Family,” dads in the media and pop culture have been rewritten again and again as dumb or embarrassing rather than honorable, wise, or courageous. It’s sold to women as bo...